Toilet Paper

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of advice for all of the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. They may not work for everybody and you may not agree with all of them, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 33 Toilet paper

Okay, you really have to go. You are out in public and you're in a hurry. Perhaps it is the day after Thanksgiving and everyone and their mother is trying to do their Christmas shopping. You are in the mall and you have been standing in line for a good 37 minutes. It is finally your turn. You rush into the stall, shut the door and sit down. I am not even going to go into the fact that you just sat down. You relieve yourself and then you pull off the few squares of toilet paper that it takes for you.
First of all, you have no idea who touched that first piece of toilet paper before you did. You have no idea what was on their hand when they touched it.
Now there are a lot of things that happen in bathrooms that don't bother me. I rarely use those seat cover things and I am not really even a hoverer, though I do at least look at the seat before I sit on it. I NEVER, EVER just willingly use the first piece of toilet paper. I ALWAYS tear it off and use a fresh piece that has never been exposed.
What if the the person before sneezed and had the flu and wiped their hand on that particular piece of TP? What if they dribbled on themselves while wiping and instinctively wiped their hand on that piece of TP? GROSS!!!!!!
As an aunt, when my nieces were old enough to potty by themselves, but still needed help, this was the first piece of advice that I remember passing on. I think I may have even made it up, but one day in Chucky Cheese's, I watched in slow motion as my oldest niece was about to reach for the first piece of toilet paper, dangling there so innocently. "NOOOOOOOOOO" I screeched as I pulled it off and explained to her why she had to tear it off and get a new one.
Please people, tear off the first piece. it will at least help me sleep at night to think that you are practicing safe bathroom procedures.