"As Seen on TV"

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all of the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. They may not work for everybody and you may not agree with all of them, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 28 As seen on TV = JUNK!!!!!

I can see you now. You are sitting alone in your apartment eating leftovers out of the container. You are watching the Hallmark Movie Channel because you can never get away with it when the other people are home. All of a sudden, the movie you are watching goes to commercial. Suddenly there it is, the one thing you never knew you needed until just this very moment. Maybe it is a Shake Weight, or a purse organizer, or a triangular shaped paint thingy. Ooh, or maybe a magnetic clasp that allows you to put on your own jewelry. You sit through the entire commercial, just biting at your nails so that you don't buy it. The commercial goes off and you quickly forget about the object of your dreams. Until... one day you are at Walgreen's, or CVS and there right in front of you is the coveted object you saw on TV the other day. It is screaming at you with its bright red "AS SEEN ON TV" logo. You stop and look at it. You walk around the store and try to forget. You get everything on your list and as you continue to the check out line, suddenly there it is again. You look around to see if anyone is watching you. You decide that no one is and have a brief conversation with yourself about how $20 is not really that much to lose, especially if it works. You go to pick it up and are silently hoping there is no need for a price check. You reach for it and your finger tips almost touch it...
STOP! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!
This is where I must intervene. Trust me, whatever it is that you are about to put in your shopping cart, Don't. I love the price of convenience. I have been suckered into buying many things that I saw on television. I owned on of those triangular paint thingies for about 3 minutes before I got so angry that I literally threw it out the window. I was also briefly in possession of some dance workout video that I graciously "loaned to a friend" and never looked back. The steps were not beginner, but more like the American Dance Academy.
Everything I have ever purchased with this logo on it was a solid, piece of JUNK. I can't even begin to tell you how many I have tried, but I can certainly tell you that not a single one of them is still in my possession.
Do yourself a favor. Do not be seduced by the price of convenience. Nothing is convenient if you have to explain to your landlord why it is lying in the front yard.