Good things are worth waiting for

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 46 Patience is a virtue

I know we have all heard this one before. I think for me it started in the womb and hearing my mother repeat it to herself because I was two weeks late. My dad would say it to all of us after he sat in a deer stand for hours in the freezing cold and still didn't bring home the big one... or any one at all. Somewhere along the genetic cycle however, I think I missed the patience gene. I try, but it is very difficult to be patient sometimes.
I moved to New York City a few years ago to become famous. I thought then, that it would just happen. That I would be walking through the park and run into some famous director and accidentally spill his coffee and he would just know that I was worth millions. Well.... obviously that didn't happen.
I got a job as a waitress... excuse me, server. We don't call them waitresses any more. I wait tables in Times Square. I spent a really long time "getting adjusted". I rarely auditioned because secretly I still thought it would happen. I would get discovered.
I finally took matters into my own hands. I began, after a really long time, auditioning. I went for years without really getting anything. Then I did. I booked a job. A non paying, but perfectly acceptable acting job as a park ranger at Mount Rushmore. Then I booked a small paying job as a vampire witch in The Horseman's Hollow. Then I booked another job in a Noel Coward play.
Right now, I am happier than I have been in a really long time. I am working as an actor and building my resume. I am perfecting my craft and it feels great. If I had given up at the first sign of a struggle, I probably would have moved back home and spent the rest of my life wondering "what if."
The good things in life are worth waiting for. I know when we hear these things as children and even into our mid twenties, we roll our eyes and brush it off to a different time and place. Its true though. Be patient. Wait around for something.. or someone GREAT! It will absolutely be worth it.
Horseman's Hollow (check out photo number nine...) http://hudsonvalley.metromix.com/events/essay_photo_gallery/flashed-behind-the-scenes/2239256/content

Count your Blessings

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned in a classroom. So, here it is. A year's worth of life lessons for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 45 Count your blessings!


My family. My friends. My apartment. My job. Air. Water. A full refrigerator. My nieces. My roommate. My memories. A bed to sleep in. Air conditioning. Heat. Sunshine. Rain. My savings account. Rocky Road Ice cream. Laughter. Experiences. My passport. Travel. Closet full of clothes. Siblings. Parents. Flowers. Cell phone. Computer. Books. Music. The subway. My dog. Photographs. Rainbows. Rain boots. Scarves. Gloves. Income. Education. The right to vote. Forever 21. My Bible. Freedom. Choice. Love. Hot tea. TV. Cable. The Internet. My adventure spirit. Money. Support of loved ones. My health. My mind. Cozy sweaters. Passion. Creativity. The ability to read, to think. Independence. New York City. A best friend. My God Daughter. Things that make me smile. Knowledge. Truth. Emotions. Feeling. Taste. Sight. Hearing.

These are just a few of the many things in life that I am thankful for. I am so blessed and when I stop and think about all of the many wonderful blessings I have, nothing really seems that bad. If we all spent a few moment everyday thinking of our blessings, the day might actually run a little bit more smoothly.

Family Vacations

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 44 Enjoy your family vacations... One day you will cherish them.

When I was five we started going to Gatlinburg, TN for our summer family vacations. My dad had gone the summer before with the youth group from our church and he loved it. We stayed in the Windchimes Chalet. It was wonderful. We were in the woods and the surroundings were lovely. There is a place called Cades Coves with old log cabins and trails and hikes and waterfalls. We had picnics and hiked. Then during the evenings we went into town and played skeeball and mini golf. We rode the ski lifts and the cable car. We ate dinner at all the touristy spots like the Hard Rock Cafe. We went to the Mountain Mall and bought homemade fudge and tons of souvenirs like airbrushed t-shirts and key chains. We went to Dollywood and learned all about her life and rode the roller coaster. We went in door sky diving. We went to the Ghost Town in the sky in Maggie Valley. We drove to the Roaring Fork and took more pictures than anyone ever needed to take. We did Gatlinburg right and we all got the t-shirts to prove it.

Then the next summer mom and dad decided that we would go back to Gatlinburg. I was only six so I was still excited about it. We went back to Gatlinburg and did it all over again. The third summer, my sister who HATES the outdoors, opted out and stayed home. Then we continued to go back to Gatlinburg.... every summer. We hiked the same trails and played the same Skeeball games, and ate the same fudge and bought the same t-shirts... We saw the same waterfalls and streams and bears and dear and picnicked in the same spots... over and over and over.
My parents could never get enough. They had found their place in the world. Gatlinburg, TN. It was their dream vacation every year. Eventually my brother, who had been my only vacation ali for years, moved away and stopped coming on vacation with us. Then I was forced to do what my sister had done all those years ago. Opt out. It took a really long time. I went from the time I was 5 until I was about 14 religiously without complaint. Then I began my graceful opting out. Mom and Dad didn't mind. They loved it there so much that they eventually began going in the fall too, just to see the leaves change. I went a few more times over the years and then after college I also moved away and it became difficult to go on family vacations. 
Now, more than anything, I wish we could all pile into our Beige Ford LTD and drive the eight hour trip to Gatlinburg. Dad and my brother Erik in the front, because he had the longest legs, Mom, me my sister Stacey and the dog in the back seat. Those were the days when anything could be solved with ice cream and doughnuts. When we were on family vacations no one seemed to have a care in the world. I finally realized that it didn't matter if my parents were taking pictures of the same things every summer, because they were having the time of their lives. Oh, what I would give to be able to go on another family vacation with all of us. The original five plus my brother-in-law, my nieces, and anyone else that wanted to come.
Cherish those moments because one day they might not be so available.

Recommended travel guides: Gatlinburg: With Pigeon Forge, Sevierville and the Smokies & 100 Secrets of the Smokies

On clean houses...

As a grown up I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 43 A clean house makes for a better working environment

I recently had the opportunity to attend a workshop taught by Broadway's own Alice Ripley. Among her many talents, she is also an excellent speaker. One of the things that she said that stuck with me was this: "A clean house makes for a better working environment. You wake up in the morning and clean your stove. Then the next day you do something else that really needs to get done. Then eventually, you wake up and there is nothing left to clean so you work."
She was so right. I find it extremely hard to work at home. I want to check my email, or see what's on TV, or call my mom, and them after I have done all of the fun distractions, then I start cleaning just so I don't actually have to do what it is that I am supposed to do, even though it is for more enjoyable than cleaning. Now, in trying to be just a little more like Alice Ripley, if I have writer's block or can't seem to focus, I will clean something while I try to figure it out. I clean the stove with a notepad next to me. I put my laundry away in a creative fashion, just trying to find a new character or quirk. Whenever I feel the pangs of distraction coming on, I clean something, anything, and eventually the kinks work themselves out. It isn't rocket science, nor even fool proof, but it works for me and Alice Ripley.
When you wake up in the morning  and start cleaning, it will open up new mental channels that you didn't even know were there.
Recommended Read: The Clean House by Sarah Rhul
Recommended Listen: Next to Normal Soundtrack

Save! Save! Save!

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them I learned from my aunts. Now I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

#42 Get a savings account!

When I was five years old I went with my dad to the bank and we opened me up a savings account. He put five dollars from every one of his paychecks into my savings account until I was old enough to get a job and start putting my own money in there. I would love to say that I still have this flourishing savings account and that not only am I not in debt, but I will be able to eventually pay for my kids college educations. I would love to say these things... but I can't.
Life eventually began happening and that original savings account began disappearing. Times got tough. I wanted to see the world. I moved to New York City. I moved to Maui. I moved back home. I moved back to New York City. I saw Mexico. I went to Scotland and England to see a band play. I had a lot of fun, but in the process of gaining a lot of really great life experiences, I also depleted my savings account.
I recently opened a new one. I now am not only a grown up, but I also have a savings account. I was a smoker, which is a whole different topic of conversation. Cigarettes in NYC went up to $13 a pack. I quit buying cigarettes. Now, I stick the $10 that I was originally spending five times a week directly into my savings account. It was amazing how quickly it added up.
I work in an industry where there is no guaranteed money. We recently just escaped from one of our slowest months of the year, SEPTEMBER! Slow season was upon me and I was struggling to make money, but I stuck that $10 into my savings account religiously every time I worked. When it came time to pay the bills on October 1st, I was ready. I didn't have it all in my checking account so I just transferred some over from savings and everything was fine and dandy. I certainly don't recommend relying on this every month, or saving more that you can afford to just to say you saved it. There has to be a nice balance and a method to the way you save.
We save for lots of reasons. Backup plans, vacations, houses, college funds, etc. Whatever the reason, don't be afraid to tap into it if necessary. That's why it's there. To eventually be used.
Recommended Reading: You're Broke Because You Want to Be by Larry Winget

Beyond our control

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some I learned in school and through experience. Many of them I learned from my aunts. Now I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some lessons that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 41 Don't get angry at someone for something that is beyond their control


The other night I was riding the subway home late at night. The train was filled with a bunch of people who were ready to be home. We stopped at one stop on the regular route and then the doors closed and the operator announced that the train would be going express. I for one was really excited because that meant that I would get home more quickly. Everyone else, however, started to grumble and complain. A couple of guys even knocked on her door to express their very strong opinions about what she personally had done to them, as if this whole fiasco were her fault. It wasn't. She simply did what her superiors told her too over the radio. When the train finally stopped, everyone who had to get off and take the other train crowded up to her window and began screaming at her and cursing as if she personally was trying to ruin their lives. She wasn't.
I get yelled at all the time at work by customers who seem to think that it's either my fault that their life sucks or that since I am in the service industry it is okay to yell at me for no reason. It isn't. I am a person too, just like that MTA operator is a person along with every other person that gets yelled at on a daily basis.
There is always a time a time to get angry. If you are going to get angry, please make sure that a) the person or situation is worthy of your anger. b) that you are not angry over something that is beyond someone else's control. If you are going to yell at someone who is simply doing their job, please think first and make sure they are the ones responsible for your anger. If not, and you still feel the need to yell, please ask to speak to the supervisor above the person so that you are yelling at the right person.

Don't stand on basketballs

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them I learned from my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some lessons that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. They may not work for everybody and you may not agree with all of them, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 40 Don't stand on basketballs.

My older brother is coming to visit in a couple of days and this post is in his honor. He is nine years older than me. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be with him. I begged him to take me everywhere that he went. He realized once he started driving that he could pretty much get away with anything as long as I was in the car with him. I always went to him for advice and often still do. I wanted to be with him and his friends and do whatever it was that they were doing, just because they were doing it so it must be great. he is also much to blame for my music taste, though none of these things is what today's lesson is about.
Sometimes the price to pay for being cool enough to hang out with your older brother is the fact that you do whatever he tells you to because you trust him. Don't get me wrong. I love my brother and today I would trust him with my life. Unfortunately I also did when I was a child and too young to understand that I was their main source of amusement.
If he or any of his friends had told me that if I went to space camp then I could actually become weightless, I would have believed them. If they had ever tricked me into stealing cigarettes out of our mom's purse I would have done it proudly. If they ever snuck me into an R rated movie and told me to tell mom and dad what we "really" saw, I would have agreed. As a child, I was willing to do a lot, just to be allowed in this club.
One day I had the unfortunate opportunity to realize that perhaps I was not actually in the club, but only there because I was good for a few laughs. I was the tag along who had no idea that I was being annoying.
One summer afternoon, I was at the neighbors house with my brother and all of his super cool friends and they were playing basketball. I watched them play and chased after the ball when it went astray and went inside and got them snacks and water and drinks. I thought I was so cool. Then, during a break in the game, my brother came up to me and told me to try to stand on the basketball. I thought it was a bad idea and when I expressed my concerns, he and all of his friends started calling me a chicken and saying that their little sisters would do it.... So... I did it. Its even possible that I stood on top of it for a full nano second before I fell to my fate. The ball rolled out from under me and I fell. I skinned my face and my knees and my elbows and anything else that was skin-able. Then I SCREAMED!
My brother picked me up and ran me home, apologizing to me the whole time. I almost thought he was going to cry for a second.
The moral of this story is this: Just because he is your brother, your protector from the world, does not mean that he will never try to get a laugh at your expense. He is totally trust worthy except for when he is between 13 and 16. Don't give up on him, you are still the light in his life.