Its not what you gather...

As a grown up I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them I learned from my aunts. Now I an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really fro anyone who will listen. They may not work for everybody and you may not agree with all of them, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 48 Its what you scatter.

I received this story in an email. It is so sweet that I thought it deserved to be my #48. If I knew who the original author is, I would give them credit.

"IT'S WHAT YOU SCATTER......

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes... I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like to take some home?'  Asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked..

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Millertold the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and
moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one; each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.

They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size......they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ..'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three
exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral:
We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself...

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.... Green stoplights on your way to work....

The fastest line at the grocery store....

A good sing-along song on the radio...

Your keys found right where you left them.

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!

When you're all choked up...

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of life lessons for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 47 Don't be embarrassed if you think you are dying.


This may seem like a silly piece of advice, but it is worth listening to. The other day I was at rehearsal. I had developed a small cold as my body decided it was time to shut down. However, it was not a good time for a system melt down, so I was fighting it to the best of my abilities. I had my juice, water, tissues, and cough drops and I was ready to go. I put in a cough drop so that I wouldn't annoy the rest of the cast as they were reading through a scene that I didn't happen to be in. I popped it in and all was fine until all of a sudden it slipped right down my throat. I tried very gracefully to cough it back up at the same time that I was hoping it would just continue down. All I could think of was that I was about to severely interrupt rehearsal and we only have such a small amount of precious time. I turned frantically to my fellow cast member sitting next to me and motioned wildly. I was trying to not give the universal signal for choking, all the while knowing that I was. Right at the moment when I had decided to give the universal signal, I regained my breath and began to cough again. I slipped into a sort of semi conscious state and I could hear everyone talking around me once they all realized what was going on. "Is she choking?" "Do you need some water?" "She's not choking, she's coughing." "Are you ok?" Finally I got the cough drop out of my throat and into a tissue. Crisis averted.
I may have survived, but I was so embarrassed that I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I felt like everyone was judging me. Let me just say that it was stupid of me to feel that way. If you ever feel like there is something really wrong, don't hesitate to draw as much attention to yourself as necessary. I shouldn't have been embarrassed that I was choking, I should have been relieved that they all finally noticed.
When you're all choked up, don't be embarrassed. Get help in any way possible.
Recommended buy: The American Medical Association Handbook of First Aid

Good things are worth waiting for

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 46 Patience is a virtue

I know we have all heard this one before. I think for me it started in the womb and hearing my mother repeat it to herself because I was two weeks late. My dad would say it to all of us after he sat in a deer stand for hours in the freezing cold and still didn't bring home the big one... or any one at all. Somewhere along the genetic cycle however, I think I missed the patience gene. I try, but it is very difficult to be patient sometimes.
I moved to New York City a few years ago to become famous. I thought then, that it would just happen. That I would be walking through the park and run into some famous director and accidentally spill his coffee and he would just know that I was worth millions. Well.... obviously that didn't happen.
I got a job as a waitress... excuse me, server. We don't call them waitresses any more. I wait tables in Times Square. I spent a really long time "getting adjusted". I rarely auditioned because secretly I still thought it would happen. I would get discovered.
I finally took matters into my own hands. I began, after a really long time, auditioning. I went for years without really getting anything. Then I did. I booked a job. A non paying, but perfectly acceptable acting job as a park ranger at Mount Rushmore. Then I booked a small paying job as a vampire witch in The Horseman's Hollow. Then I booked another job in a Noel Coward play.
Right now, I am happier than I have been in a really long time. I am working as an actor and building my resume. I am perfecting my craft and it feels great. If I had given up at the first sign of a struggle, I probably would have moved back home and spent the rest of my life wondering "what if."
The good things in life are worth waiting for. I know when we hear these things as children and even into our mid twenties, we roll our eyes and brush it off to a different time and place. Its true though. Be patient. Wait around for something.. or someone GREAT! It will absolutely be worth it.
Horseman's Hollow (check out photo number nine...) http://hudsonvalley.metromix.com/events/essay_photo_gallery/flashed-behind-the-scenes/2239256/content

Count your Blessings

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned in a classroom. So, here it is. A year's worth of life lessons for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 45 Count your blessings!


My family. My friends. My apartment. My job. Air. Water. A full refrigerator. My nieces. My roommate. My memories. A bed to sleep in. Air conditioning. Heat. Sunshine. Rain. My savings account. Rocky Road Ice cream. Laughter. Experiences. My passport. Travel. Closet full of clothes. Siblings. Parents. Flowers. Cell phone. Computer. Books. Music. The subway. My dog. Photographs. Rainbows. Rain boots. Scarves. Gloves. Income. Education. The right to vote. Forever 21. My Bible. Freedom. Choice. Love. Hot tea. TV. Cable. The Internet. My adventure spirit. Money. Support of loved ones. My health. My mind. Cozy sweaters. Passion. Creativity. The ability to read, to think. Independence. New York City. A best friend. My God Daughter. Things that make me smile. Knowledge. Truth. Emotions. Feeling. Taste. Sight. Hearing.

These are just a few of the many things in life that I am thankful for. I am so blessed and when I stop and think about all of the many wonderful blessings I have, nothing really seems that bad. If we all spent a few moment everyday thinking of our blessings, the day might actually run a little bit more smoothly.

Family Vacations

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 44 Enjoy your family vacations... One day you will cherish them.

When I was five we started going to Gatlinburg, TN for our summer family vacations. My dad had gone the summer before with the youth group from our church and he loved it. We stayed in the Windchimes Chalet. It was wonderful. We were in the woods and the surroundings were lovely. There is a place called Cades Coves with old log cabins and trails and hikes and waterfalls. We had picnics and hiked. Then during the evenings we went into town and played skeeball and mini golf. We rode the ski lifts and the cable car. We ate dinner at all the touristy spots like the Hard Rock Cafe. We went to the Mountain Mall and bought homemade fudge and tons of souvenirs like airbrushed t-shirts and key chains. We went to Dollywood and learned all about her life and rode the roller coaster. We went in door sky diving. We went to the Ghost Town in the sky in Maggie Valley. We drove to the Roaring Fork and took more pictures than anyone ever needed to take. We did Gatlinburg right and we all got the t-shirts to prove it.

Then the next summer mom and dad decided that we would go back to Gatlinburg. I was only six so I was still excited about it. We went back to Gatlinburg and did it all over again. The third summer, my sister who HATES the outdoors, opted out and stayed home. Then we continued to go back to Gatlinburg.... every summer. We hiked the same trails and played the same Skeeball games, and ate the same fudge and bought the same t-shirts... We saw the same waterfalls and streams and bears and dear and picnicked in the same spots... over and over and over.
My parents could never get enough. They had found their place in the world. Gatlinburg, TN. It was their dream vacation every year. Eventually my brother, who had been my only vacation ali for years, moved away and stopped coming on vacation with us. Then I was forced to do what my sister had done all those years ago. Opt out. It took a really long time. I went from the time I was 5 until I was about 14 religiously without complaint. Then I began my graceful opting out. Mom and Dad didn't mind. They loved it there so much that they eventually began going in the fall too, just to see the leaves change. I went a few more times over the years and then after college I also moved away and it became difficult to go on family vacations. 
Now, more than anything, I wish we could all pile into our Beige Ford LTD and drive the eight hour trip to Gatlinburg. Dad and my brother Erik in the front, because he had the longest legs, Mom, me my sister Stacey and the dog in the back seat. Those were the days when anything could be solved with ice cream and doughnuts. When we were on family vacations no one seemed to have a care in the world. I finally realized that it didn't matter if my parents were taking pictures of the same things every summer, because they were having the time of their lives. Oh, what I would give to be able to go on another family vacation with all of us. The original five plus my brother-in-law, my nieces, and anyone else that wanted to come.
Cherish those moments because one day they might not be so available.

Recommended travel guides: Gatlinburg: With Pigeon Forge, Sevierville and the Smokies & 100 Secrets of the Smokies

On clean houses...

As a grown up I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them were taught to me by my aunts. Now, I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

# 43 A clean house makes for a better working environment

I recently had the opportunity to attend a workshop taught by Broadway's own Alice Ripley. Among her many talents, she is also an excellent speaker. One of the things that she said that stuck with me was this: "A clean house makes for a better working environment. You wake up in the morning and clean your stove. Then the next day you do something else that really needs to get done. Then eventually, you wake up and there is nothing left to clean so you work."
She was so right. I find it extremely hard to work at home. I want to check my email, or see what's on TV, or call my mom, and them after I have done all of the fun distractions, then I start cleaning just so I don't actually have to do what it is that I am supposed to do, even though it is for more enjoyable than cleaning. Now, in trying to be just a little more like Alice Ripley, if I have writer's block or can't seem to focus, I will clean something while I try to figure it out. I clean the stove with a notepad next to me. I put my laundry away in a creative fashion, just trying to find a new character or quirk. Whenever I feel the pangs of distraction coming on, I clean something, anything, and eventually the kinks work themselves out. It isn't rocket science, nor even fool proof, but it works for me and Alice Ripley.
When you wake up in the morning  and start cleaning, it will open up new mental channels that you didn't even know were there.
Recommended Read: The Clean House by Sarah Rhul
Recommended Listen: Next to Normal Soundtrack

Save! Save! Save!

As a grown up, I realize that through the course of life I have learned many valuable lessons. Some of them were taught to me by my mom and dad. Some of them I learned in school and through experience. Many of them I learned from my aunts. Now I am an aunt and my oldest niece recently started kindergarten. I know that they say everything you need to know you learn in kindergarten. I disagree. I believe that there are some things that one cannot learn in a classroom. These are lessons that can only be learned by living. So, here it is. A year's worth of tiny words of wisdom for all the nieces and nephews out there, or really for anyone who will listen. You may not agree with all of them and they may not work for everybody, but each is a rule that I either try to live by or wish I did.

#42 Get a savings account!

When I was five years old I went with my dad to the bank and we opened me up a savings account. He put five dollars from every one of his paychecks into my savings account until I was old enough to get a job and start putting my own money in there. I would love to say that I still have this flourishing savings account and that not only am I not in debt, but I will be able to eventually pay for my kids college educations. I would love to say these things... but I can't.
Life eventually began happening and that original savings account began disappearing. Times got tough. I wanted to see the world. I moved to New York City. I moved to Maui. I moved back home. I moved back to New York City. I saw Mexico. I went to Scotland and England to see a band play. I had a lot of fun, but in the process of gaining a lot of really great life experiences, I also depleted my savings account.
I recently opened a new one. I now am not only a grown up, but I also have a savings account. I was a smoker, which is a whole different topic of conversation. Cigarettes in NYC went up to $13 a pack. I quit buying cigarettes. Now, I stick the $10 that I was originally spending five times a week directly into my savings account. It was amazing how quickly it added up.
I work in an industry where there is no guaranteed money. We recently just escaped from one of our slowest months of the year, SEPTEMBER! Slow season was upon me and I was struggling to make money, but I stuck that $10 into my savings account religiously every time I worked. When it came time to pay the bills on October 1st, I was ready. I didn't have it all in my checking account so I just transferred some over from savings and everything was fine and dandy. I certainly don't recommend relying on this every month, or saving more that you can afford to just to say you saved it. There has to be a nice balance and a method to the way you save.
We save for lots of reasons. Backup plans, vacations, houses, college funds, etc. Whatever the reason, don't be afraid to tap into it if necessary. That's why it's there. To eventually be used.
Recommended Reading: You're Broke Because You Want to Be by Larry Winget